Did that heading make any sense to you? It wasn’t really supposed to. It’s a cryptic conundrum you see. I’ll let you work it out.

Got it yet?

No?

Some of you have!

Ok, for the rest of you, it’s just a play on words for – Spot the deliberate mistake.

Sorry, I thought it was funny at the time of writing.

Anyhoooooooo… The reason for it is because to my abject, shameful and total horror I have made tons of them. Mistakes I mean. Honestly, there’s so many of them I hardly know where to begin. Typos I mean, loads of ‘em!

When I publish a book I always do several proof reads to iron out any glitches and then when it’s out there for all the world to see I read the finished article again myself just to be doubly certain. And I thought I was getting good at it too. Mutch Wants Moor for example only had four typos and grammatical errors in total and I think Vole had even less.

Medicine Show, on the other hand, has fifteen at least (maybe more) and that is the horror I’m referring to. I’ve just finished reading it on Kindle and it is peppered with typographical and grammatical mistakes. Bristling with them in fact. They mock me from the pages like sooty faced street urchins. Sticking their disgusting tongues out at me and jeering crudely at my gross ineptitude.

I’m shocked gentle reader; I truly am. How on Earth did those literary abominations get past me?

You see, the thing is, in an ideal world my books would all be published by Hodder and Stoughton or Penguin or Random House and as such a professional proof-reading team would be employed to ensure that no typos or grammar cock ups occur. As it is, I have to do my own proofing and I’m now feeling a great deal of admiration towards those professional bods. They really know their game.

I suppose I could pay a professional proof-reader to do it for me but I just don’t have the old fiscal clout to do that as they don’t exactly come cheap and they charge by the word. THE WORD I TELL YOU!!! Fie, fie and Gadzooks!

Anyway, the damage is done now and it’s up to me and me alone to rectify the awful situation. Ergo Medicine Show will have to go offline for a brief spell whilst I right the terrible wrongs I have committed. Plus, it will give me the opportunity to have a word with Amazon about it because there’s something else I’m not happy with which I won’t go into here. Let’s just say they’re not doing their job properly and leave it at that.

Ooh, I could kick myself in the underpants I really could. Fortunately, I know that even attempting such an intricate manoeuvre would probably dislocate both my spine and hips and leave me in traction for many months. So I won’t do it. Still, the thought’s there. Actually, if I’m thinking of paying for a proof-reader could I also pay for a professional arse-kicker?

Just a thought.

So sincere apologies to anyone who has paid good money for Medicine Show and has had to endure the aforementioned affrontery to literature. But look on the bright side; you’re copy of the book is a limited edition, so hang on to it.

In other news: I have begun writing the next novel featuring Archie and Aggie Stone and am up to chapter 7 already. A month of planning went extremely well and I feel very confident about this one. I’m also working on the principle of doing approximately 1000 to 1200 words a day, which is comfortable and do-able for my current physical limitations and as such should see me finish the first draft some time in April.

I hope that’s not a case of famous last words.

So if there’s anyone out there reading this and you have experience of proof-reading copy and you’d like to help out a struggling but brilliant independent author at vastly reduced rates, then do get in touch with me at contact@blesshamhall.co.uk or reply to this blog post. Your services and mates rates will be greatly appreciated.

In the meantime, I will endeavour to remove the flies in the Medicine Show ointment and make it right and proper. It’s a crackling little book and deserves to be shown at it’s very best.

Watch this space for further updates.

PS – I have read this blog post through twice and I just know that as soon as it goes live I’ll see at least one typo in it. HELP ME!!!