My lovely wife and I have been talking recently about her retiring from work next May when she turns 64. I know, I know, she doesn’t look anywhere near that age but it’s the truth. We know the actual UK retirement age for her is 67 but we’re not going with that. She has had a raft of health problems in the last twelve months ranging from gout to type 2 diabetes by way of a heart attack and we both thing enough is enough.

So we’re making plans for the rest of our lives and I for one am quite excited at the prospect. We know we’ll have a bit less money to play with and so we’re looking at getting things we need whilst Ange is still working.

One of the things that Ange has lovingly suggested is a new laptop for yours truly and as much as I’d really like one, I’m struggling to justify the expense.

You see, the laptop that I have and the one that I’m writing this blog post on, is now nine years old. It’s an Asus something or other that I bought in 2014 after I foolishly left my old laptop on the roof of our boat one night and the dew got at it. Although I think home-made wine played some part in the fiasco but that’s by the by. And it’s a budget model which I paid less than two-hundred quid for.

When the new laptop arrived it most certainly wasn’t love at first sight. I really didn’t like it. I thought that the keys were too far apart and I didn’t think the mousepad was up to the job. The whole thing just felt somehow awkward and not In any way user-friendly. But seeing as how it was the best I could afford at the time I had no choice but to persevere with the thing.

Fast forward nine years and I can say in all total honesty that I love the old girl.

She’s become like a pair of well-worn slippers or that threadbare dressing gown that you just can’t part with. She’s become comfortable. Notice I’m using the female vernacular, but maybe that’s just me.

I love how the way her keys are now smoothed by years of my fingers gently pressing on them and the way that the mouse pad has a shiny surface now after all the rubbing it has taken during its three-and-a-half-thousand days in my employ. It’s got an amusing slogan on top of the lid that reads, “This would be really funny of it wasn’t happening to me” that I bought from a book shop about fifteen years ago that’s now dog-eared to perfection and I’m on my third charger, which thankfully you can still get on Amazon very cheaply.

Seriously, I have no problem with my laptop.

However, other people do.

I’m constantly getting messages popping up whenever I log on saying things like, “Chrome can’t support your version of Windows” or “You need to update to Windows 10 now!” And always I ask myself the same question – Why?

All the software I need runs perfectly well on it and I can and do update Windows 365 on a regular basis with no problems. I’ve written six and a half full length novels on it, one-hundred podcast scripts, about two-hundred blog posts, created dozens of videos, have files and files of documents that I’ve written for other people and I have a perfect internet connection.

Oh sure, she’s a bit slow to wake up sometimes but aren’t we all. So I make it my business to empty the temporary file folder as often as possible. There’s a short cut for that if you want to email me for details.

But to round it all up, my old laptop is working fine and I don’t feel the need to replace her any time soon.

It’s good of Ange to be so thoughtful about getting me a new one; that’s the kind fo person she is. But when retirement brings it’s own fiscal juggling issues then I can’t justify the cost of a new piece of technology yet.

I know that one day there will be that terrible moment when she does pack up and I’ll have to send her to the great laptop graveyard but until then we’ll keep doing what we’ve been doing for almost a decade. And don’t worry, I’m a stickler for backing everything up in duplicate so nothing will be lost.

So no retirement plans for me and Asus the Laptop. We’ve got a lot of writing to do yet.