And so, once again, we enter the endgame. No I’m not talking about some online video shoot-em-up where countless digitized characters are annihilated in a gory and blood-thirsty assortment of ways. Or even a more relaxing game of chess. No, I’m talking about my upcoming new novel. Yes! Hurrah! I’ve finally reached that stage of the proceedings.

And oh my word what a slog it’s been. What with fibromyalgia, a virus, Bell’s Palsy, a house move and a whole host of other distractions great and small its a wonder I am where I am with it at all. And that’s before we get on to the difficulties I’ve had writing the wretched thing.

This one has not been easy, gentle reader. Not easy in any way, shape or form.

But let’s look on the bright side now shall we?

The first draft is done, weighing in at just over 72,500 words and the editing process has already begun with a sense of urgency already adding another 500. This really has been my hardest novel to write yet and I just want the damned book finished and out there.

I don’t say that from a point of view of it’s not a great book; I believe it is, one of my best. It’s just that, to use a midwifery metaphor, compared to the other five this one has been a breach birth where the others all came out like shelling peas.

I quite like editing though. I compare it to washing up after a big meal and seeing all the pots and pans all clean and sparkling on the sink drainer. Mind you, I think I’m going to need a lot of literary Fairy Liquid and a full pack of Brillo pads for this one.

Of course, after editing, spell check and proof-reading we get to that narky old nemesis of mine – Formatting.

Putting a book out every six months or so is considered quite prolific by anyone’s standards and I’m quite swollen of head with my output, but for some reason I have to refer to my copious hand-written notes every time I publish a new one to remember what to do. My short term memory ain’t so good you see; encephalitis and all that jazz.

So it’s always a bit of a challenge and of course no two books are the same length and I can’t just duplicate files, however tempting that sounds. No, it’s a painstaking and laborious process of precise measurements, paragraph layouts, font sizes and muttered profanities (and I really don’t like being profane).

But, do you know what? I think I’m going to enjoy that process more this time. I feel something akin to that Churchillian spirit of, “We shall never surrender!” I’m not going to be bested by my shortest novel yet. It’s older, and bigger, brothers all did what they were told and this one is going to as well.

Publication date for this naughty little wretch? To be announced, hopefully, in the very near future.

For now, just be assured that the end is near.